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Up to now, however, neither one of us has exercised the option. The first tour I took alone after we had signed the contract put me in a college town where an attractive newspaper woman followed me around from reading to reading. Late that night after the concert I discovered she was still at my side. It was then that I realized she was there to interview me in depth. For the first time in my sexual life not only the opportunity, but also the option, were present at the same time. And what did I do? I backed away from the situation, not for the usual "because it is forbidden" reason, but because I had a heavy schedule of classes the next day starting with an 8 o'clock. What I did not need was a wild night of sexual gymnastics. What I needed was a good night's sleep. And anyway, if you can't say "no" your "yes" means nothing.
Over the years, Billie Barbara and I have met many people involved in sexually open marriages and have watched most of them rattle apart. The breaking point seems to come the night someone feels the need to be with the person they consider primary only to find that, at that particular time, the primary is busy with somebody else. I doubt if anyone really wants to feel secondary to the one they consider primary. |
