I've learned a couple of things about love since going through this His & Hers odyssey. First, is that to truly love someone, is to be willing to give up half of what one selfishly considers essential to his or her own personal pursuit of happiness. Secondly, it isn't so much that I love Billie Barbara, as it is that I love who I am when I'm with Billie Barbara. For forty six years she has made it possible for me to be satisfied with who I am.
What follows is the most recent piece I written about our lifelong relationship.
OLD SHOES
that comfortable
that familiar that everyday
and we swore to never
let it get that way
for us again
back then broken in
and broken down
were synonymous
pinched
into a tight new pair
of sexy lizard-skin boots
nothing is taken for granted
open marriage
thrives on the acute awareness
that comes with Cuban heels
and flashy patent leather
and for a time
we did dance on the edge
in our trendy wooden clogs
certain
that an old shoe relationship
would be one that had gone
to the dogs
but after forty six years
in close proximity
I've found that the dogs
is not such a bad place to be
you and me together
like two friendly old hounds
out on the lawn
fondly
gnawing on one another
- like old shoes |
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After 46 years Ric and my relationship endures because we both want it to. We choose every year whether we want to seperate or stay in the relationship for another year. We are friends, and I think our prime responsibility to each other is to keep each other awake until we die.
We are passionate about ideas: at one time the passion was primarily sexual, now it has spilled over into theater, philosophy, performing...I guess we both consider gardening a form of meditating, and when we do it together it is healing...and we both are movie addicts.
In these latter days we strive for
balance and interdependence,where neither one feels put upon...However, I realize this is not a permanent or static condition. The main thing to me is Ric gives me space to grow...even though growing can be painful.
Wound me
But wound me faithfully
Friend
I must evolve
And be selfish.
Let us do selfish things
That benefit the other. |
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