She slipped out from under my dress
The one who knows my secrets
Fire in her eyes, grinning
She has run off down the road
To let my cat out of the bag
***

DADDY, WALK WITH ME

Daddy I wish you could get up and walk with me
Take my hand — my strength
We'll fly over the canyons and mountains
Leave behind sickness and pain
Soar with the hawks
Hovering over Pico Blanco and Bixby
The bridges and beaches of my childhood
Let's close our eyes Dad, and go there now
Before you fly off on your own
And leave me here with your old sweaters and books
I can't touch your hand,
I can only find you in the dark
In my dreams as I sleep on piles of warn cardigans
And poems and pictures
Your paintings of familiar places
Family outings— memories from long ago
***

CHILDHOOD MOMENTS

When I got home
I meant to call you Dad

I was so glad to be alive
Today the wind howled so loud
I almost didn't hear
The poet shouting in my ear

Sea foam flew in great hunks
Along the highway and over the bridge
Seaweed danced across the beach
as if on a string

Crouching low on the rocks
Rain stinging my skin
I remembered when I was a child
How you would let me
Run naked into the teeth of the storm
Joyous
And screaming!
***

MY VOICE

There is magic in me
I stand with the Elephant — protected
She cools me in sweat lodge
The hawk ( cock nu ) speaks to me of other worlds
And these turkey buzzards that circle my house
Are a daily reminder that death is imminent
And rests outside my door
I need to rise up like the viper, a cobra
And let you know that I mean business
I am rooted in this granite this red earth
At home on this mountain
I have found my voice
And I will be a powerful speaker for the mother
I will join people together in ceremony
And I will find my own way of celebrating life
Honoring all things natural to this earth
I was born on this coastline
This is the only land I know
I love it as I love myself
And no one can tell me
That I am not indigenous to it
***

OLD BED

From this old bed where I sit and write
And think about my connection to all things
I am infinite, and I don’t need
To be more than I am to know this
Or more than I am to deserve to be joyful
To delight in the color of this day
The songs my frogs are learning,
Those silly pollywogs I brought home
Changed before my eyes and are filling the night
With conversations that I chose to believe are with me
Each bird song, each dog I hear barking speaks to me

All the answers to my questions
Are truly written on the wind
And in the hum of the universe that I feel
Vibrating up through the legs of this comfortable old bed
Today it seems important knowing
That it all will go right along without me
The sun will rise the rain will fall
The night sounds and conversations continue
Even when my bones
Are ground to dust and disappear in the wind
Extending beyond measure or comprehension
I am infinite
***

PATCHWORK BLANKET

My Grandmother Minnie Grace use to travel the world
She’d been everywhere, she told me
Looking through the pages in the National Geographic
How silly, I used to think why doesn’t she just go there
I understand now
Not being a traveler myself in the physical world
But I have learned to enter the void
I can go anywhere on the backs of the animals I embrace

Someday my spirit will leave this body
And I will travel through time with my Grandmother
Covered in the patchwork blankets
That connect us to the backs of dragons
And the rivers and valleys of the world
And to the stars where we will all return together

These same blankets I sleep beneath
On days when I feel a little afraid or a little lonely
All these tiny patches of memory comfort me
I feel my Grandmother’s power and I know she is with me
Whenever I need her
***

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STANDING PEOPLE

I heard the standing people moaning
As I walked up the hill
Urged into speaking by the wind
Swirling around my head
Asking me to listen
To the whistles and creaking
Of these jolly old fellows
Who’s voices were louder
Than the ones in my head
I can see them dancing
And waving thier branches
Clearing away the old leaves
Shaking all that is dead loose
What is left is healthy and new

On this day I would rather be out
Walking in the wind
Than to be with anyone on earth
I can feel my energy
Circle out from my being
And return to me clean and calm
From these old ones
We each speak from our life’s lessons
So today
I am letting go of the old dead parts of myself
Letting them go like leaves in the wind
***

SNAKE SKIN

I twist inside my skin
Even in my dreams
I feel uncomfortable
In this body
I struggle to make room
Pushing at this invisible bag
That surrounds me
It tightens around my head and neck
Then cramps my legs
I am dizzy
And I can’t stop moving
Not even when I sleep
This layer of skin is hard to rub off
This snake is stubborn and afraid

Maybe , I share too much

Maybe you won’t understand

Maybe you won’t love me

Maybe, I won’t love you

I need an egg tooth
A sharp needle like beak
To slice holes in this shark’s purse
Break the bag of waters that surrounds me
Wriggle forth shiney and new
Beached on some peaceful island

Alone

It’s hard to be with people today

I need to rub up against the rocks of time
Feel out the sharp place that will free me
And allow me to join you
So we can walk the beach
Together again
***

PITY

I am tired and slow and sore today
I can feel all the places that I have not yet worn smooth
I can feel the pity in the trees as they rain down on me
And the harshness of the cold in the darkness
By the river

But I am alive
And here to feel it
I can still walk and find the sun
***

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